Introduction

When my grandmother died there was a lot of sorting out to be done. Cassettes she never listened to, videos she never watched and books. One in particular that I wish I'd had the chance to ask if she had read, and indeed paid much attention to. It is 'The Complete Housewife', published in 1960. Due to a total lack of interest from every other member of my family, it came home with me. It has sat on a shelf looking prettily battered for a couple of years now and it has me wondering. How much of it is still relevant? Which bits of its polite but firm advice could I take on? And if this book is for the 'complete' housewife, what percentage am I currently at? I don't get married until next year, but I did recently buy a slow cooker with some excitement. I reckon I must be at about 64% for that alone.
To get us started I will share with you the introduction of the book, in full:

Making a home is almost entirely a woman's job. Her raw materials are four walls, some furnisings, and some accessories - inanimate things which have no personal value until she lavishes on them her genius and her devotion, and turns them into a setting against which her family can live in conditions of mutual affection, harmony, comfort, good health, and reasonable privacy. Without her genius, the walls and furnishings are as lifeless and impersonal as the goods in a furniture-store window.

Goodness, that's a lot of pressure isn't it? But I like the idea of having some genius to lavish on things. I'd always suspected that. The 'reasonable privacy' really hit home. I must wear pyjamas more often and / or buy a kitchen blind.

Some women have a talent for making a home out of very little indeed when their resources are slender. Others seem to have everything they could possibly want - except the homemaker's talent. Midway between these extremes are the vast majority of women who want to make a real home in which their families can thrive, but who do not yet know all the possibilities which are available to them.

Slightly menacing, but again reassuring. If I'm honest, at this point I'm not really sure how I'm going to get the two of us to thrive. But I'm sure that wll be explained later on.

Men, too, can be roughly divided into similar groups. There are some who take little interest in the home beyond providing the cash to keep it going; there are others who are simply not able to afford many of the things which can give a home an occasional touch of extra comfort and can remove some of the drudgery from the shoulders of the homemaker; and there is the vast majority who, while not wealthy, put most of their earnings and their spare time into the home and consider both well spent.

I suspect mine is in the first group. That's always worked for us, but I feel the book disapproves.

But whatever type the man of the house may be, in the matter of homemaking he should always be the junior partner. It is his wife who must set the standards and create the background. It is she who must ultimately make the decisions on all such matters as furnishing and renovation, food and clothing, recreation and social life, and the well-being of the family as a whole. And it is she who in the end, will control the spending and do most of the work.

It's all true! I do have to set the standards! I thought that was just to prevent my beloved from eating Supernoodles out of a pint glass, but it turns out that there's much more to it than that. Mild distress at having to 'do most of the work' but excited nonetheless.

It is an exacting job. It goes on for twenty-four hours a day for 365 days in the year, with perhaps a short break at holiday times.

And weekends, right?

If the lady of the house is lucky, she will have a husband who is able and willing to help her. But her husband may not be available to help, perhaps through lack of interest, perhaps because he has a job which keeps him working at full stretch and which so tires him that he has little time and energy left when he gets home. In such cases, his wife must carry on as best as she can alone.

His commute is longer than mine. I feel rather noble for having done the washing up now. ALONE. .

She can make of her task a good job or a bad job. Mostly she makes of it a very good job indeed, but at the cost of her youthfulness and sometimes her health.

That's a bit of a bugger isn't it?

This book is for the woman who wants to do a good job with a maximum of graciousness and happiness, without unnecessary drudgery. It is also for the very many men who wish and are able to do their share, under their women's guidance, but who are not quite sure how to go about it.

I like the sound of maximum graciousness. In fact I may suggest that as a name for our firstborn. Maximum Graciousness, pleased to meet you.

Making a comfortable and enjoyable home is not really a difficult task. It is not an easy task either. It calls for the right kind of practical knowledge, a touch of artistry here and there, a willingness tomake the necessary daily effort, and above all a background of happiness. Given those ingredients, the home will provide a lifetime of fulfilment and contentment, no matter where it may be.

Wise words. And handy to know, we're still renting.